A Hairy Subject
Topic: Girly stuff
Laura A. Stuart
March 18, 2005

I was 12 years old when my mom taught me how to shave my legs. I didn’t think too much about it. I just figured it was another rite of passage: at a certain time in a women’s life, she shouldn’t be hairy.

Ever since then, shaving has become a habit, like brushing my teeth and wearing socks. I never thought to question why women had to have nice hairless legs, while it’s acceptable for men to look like a Sasquatch.

It really didn’t seem like such a big deal until a few months ago, when I attended a party with a group of extremely liberal acquaintances of mine. The weather was still fairly warm at the time, so many people at the party were wearing shorts. What I noticed about some of the women there knocked my socks off. It seemed as if they had never let a razor go anywhere near their legs!

Their legs were very hairy. I’ve seen men with less fuzz on them. Still, I was surprisingly not disgusted by it. I thought it was pretty cool that they had left it alone.

I started to wonder why women need to shave their legs. Maybe its yet another wacky beauty standard. If women start obsessing over every last hair on their body, it might distract them from using that brain space for something crazy such as wanting equal rights.

Shaving legs has to be good for business too. Women are fooled into believing that peach-scented foam and the expensive razor with the fancy handle will make them have the best hairless legs ever. I’m sure the bandage makers appreciate it too, when a woman realizes that the pain from being cut while shaving feels the same no matter how much she spends on a razor.

I tried making a stand against giving in to shaving after that party. It didn’t last long. Maybe society has already conditioned me. Or maybe I just didn’t like the fuzzy look on me. Perhaps I just enjoy the way pajama pants feel on freshly shaven legs.

That doesn’t mean I have to completely cave in to the hairless standard. A guy I dated briefly once tried to talk me into shaving other unmentionable body parts. There was no way I was ever going to do that, especially not for him. I had already learned the hard way how uncomfortable that feels.

I’ve concluded that when it comes to shaving, it really should be a personal choice. Only the owner of a body should have to decide whether or not she wants to be fuzzy or smooth. It’s ok if someone chooses to use a bar of soap instead of the foam, or vice versa. No one else should have to decide what hair we should have.

The Gospel According to Cosmo
Topic: Girly stuff
The Gospel According to Cosmo
By Laura A. Stuart

This is kind of a hard thing to admit, but I have such a soft spot in my heart for women's magazines. Whenever I'm at the store, I always hit the magazine racks for the latest issue of Cosmopolitan or Glamour. A few years ago, it was the teen girl magazines like YM and the little sister mag, CosmoGIRL! That I would spend hard earned allowance cash on.

I know it seems a bit silly for me to be ashamed. Lot's of women my age read those publications. Maybe in my peer group, it's important to know what kind of $500 shoes Kate Winslet wears, or racy sex positions that only a contortionist could master. I suppose there may be some women out there who do what I do, which is wait until the next issue comes out and use the old one for art projects.

The thing I'm most ashamed about liking these magazines is the fact that I should know better. I like to think I've learned something about feminism in my lifetime, and that these trashy rags are giving women the wrong ideas. I shouldn't give a rat's hairy tail about how to please a man in bed, but rather wondering how he's supposed to be pleasing me!

When I read, I am very much aware of the hypocrisy in a single issue. One article is telling me that I should love myself and not worry about having that special man in my life. Then the rest of the magazine is telling me that I should be wearing this dress, looking like that emaciated super model, and spending enough money to put a child through college to get all of that. Yes, you can love yourself the way you are, just as long as you are what we say you should be.

And lest we forget about relationships. Sure, it's okay if you want to be a "fun, fearless female" and enjoy being single. You're not that big of a loser if you're not dating Mr. Shirtless Hunk. Yes, ladies, it's wrong for men to objectify us (although the magazines are subliminally telling us to let it happen), but it's quite all right to treat a man like a piece of meat.

Suppose you are "lucky" enough to be dating a clone of Jude Law. Eventually, the issue of sex is going to come up; no, not after you're both happily married, but more like right after you've learned each other's names. If the magazines are true, the he's the one you ought to be pleasing. Women are pretty much being told to be subservient in bed.

This may be just some wacky notion I have, but I believe that I a man should know some things to please a woman in bed. I'm not saying that all the attention should be focused solely on the woman, or the man. I think both people should be enjoying the experience. I support equality between the ($1000 satin) covers.

Also, the magazines fail to acknowledge the lesbian and bisexual women who read their pages. I'm sure there are magazines out there aimed at that audience, but they're not usually just sitting on the racks in the supermarket next to Cosmo and Glamour.

I'm sure there are lesbians and bisexual women who have read at least one issue of a women's magazine. I'm also sure that those who have read might want relationship advice (relationships are tricky no matter who you're with). Why not give them something they can use?

The problem only persists with magazines when you get just a wee bit older. One of the greatest ironies of the magazine stand is when I see the cover of Lady's Home Journal, which boasts an article on how to lose 50 pounds plastered right over a picture of a delicious looking cheesecake. Women are being told that they should look a certain way, and still be a the happy housewife. If you're not June Cleaver, you're a bad mother and wife.

So why do I bother to read these magazines if I know they're basically full of crap? Why not pick up something more intelligent, like Guitar World or Vegetarian Cooking? I suppose I'm entitled to a guilty pleasure every once in a while. I'm a college student, and sometime my brain needs a little "fluff break".

I haven't let the magazines get to me either. I know better than to live my life wishing I looked likes so-and-so. I know I can look as good in a dress from Target as I could in one from Chanel. I could be happy dating a guy who looks just like any other guy, or dating a woman, or being single. I do not live my life based on what Cosmo says.

And if all else fails, I can always use the magazines for some seriously kick-ass art projects.