The Gospel According to Cosmo
Topic: Girly stuff
The Gospel According to Cosmo
By Laura A. Stuart

This is kind of a hard thing to admit, but I have such a soft spot in my heart for women's magazines. Whenever I'm at the store, I always hit the magazine racks for the latest issue of Cosmopolitan or Glamour. A few years ago, it was the teen girl magazines like YM and the little sister mag, CosmoGIRL! That I would spend hard earned allowance cash on.

I know it seems a bit silly for me to be ashamed. Lot's of women my age read those publications. Maybe in my peer group, it's important to know what kind of $500 shoes Kate Winslet wears, or racy sex positions that only a contortionist could master. I suppose there may be some women out there who do what I do, which is wait until the next issue comes out and use the old one for art projects.

The thing I'm most ashamed about liking these magazines is the fact that I should know better. I like to think I've learned something about feminism in my lifetime, and that these trashy rags are giving women the wrong ideas. I shouldn't give a rat's hairy tail about how to please a man in bed, but rather wondering how he's supposed to be pleasing me!

When I read, I am very much aware of the hypocrisy in a single issue. One article is telling me that I should love myself and not worry about having that special man in my life. Then the rest of the magazine is telling me that I should be wearing this dress, looking like that emaciated super model, and spending enough money to put a child through college to get all of that. Yes, you can love yourself the way you are, just as long as you are what we say you should be.

And lest we forget about relationships. Sure, it's okay if you want to be a "fun, fearless female" and enjoy being single. You're not that big of a loser if you're not dating Mr. Shirtless Hunk. Yes, ladies, it's wrong for men to objectify us (although the magazines are subliminally telling us to let it happen), but it's quite all right to treat a man like a piece of meat.

Suppose you are "lucky" enough to be dating a clone of Jude Law. Eventually, the issue of sex is going to come up; no, not after you're both happily married, but more like right after you've learned each other's names. If the magazines are true, the he's the one you ought to be pleasing. Women are pretty much being told to be subservient in bed.

This may be just some wacky notion I have, but I believe that I a man should know some things to please a woman in bed. I'm not saying that all the attention should be focused solely on the woman, or the man. I think both people should be enjoying the experience. I support equality between the ($1000 satin) covers.

Also, the magazines fail to acknowledge the lesbian and bisexual women who read their pages. I'm sure there are magazines out there aimed at that audience, but they're not usually just sitting on the racks in the supermarket next to Cosmo and Glamour.

I'm sure there are lesbians and bisexual women who have read at least one issue of a women's magazine. I'm also sure that those who have read might want relationship advice (relationships are tricky no matter who you're with). Why not give them something they can use?

The problem only persists with magazines when you get just a wee bit older. One of the greatest ironies of the magazine stand is when I see the cover of Lady's Home Journal, which boasts an article on how to lose 50 pounds plastered right over a picture of a delicious looking cheesecake. Women are being told that they should look a certain way, and still be a the happy housewife. If you're not June Cleaver, you're a bad mother and wife.

So why do I bother to read these magazines if I know they're basically full of crap? Why not pick up something more intelligent, like Guitar World or Vegetarian Cooking? I suppose I'm entitled to a guilty pleasure every once in a while. I'm a college student, and sometime my brain needs a little "fluff break".

I haven't let the magazines get to me either. I know better than to live my life wishing I looked likes so-and-so. I know I can look as good in a dress from Target as I could in one from Chanel. I could be happy dating a guy who looks just like any other guy, or dating a woman, or being single. I do not live my life based on what Cosmo says.

And if all else fails, I can always use the magazines for some seriously kick-ass art projects.

What is the meaning of all this?
Mood:  hungry
Now Playing: Ashes to Ashes- David Bowie
A friend of mine gave me the idea to create a webpage that's chockful of my writings, ramblings, etc.

Actually, everyone has been telling me to make one. Mainly, they're all just curious to see what I've bee writing all these years. They want to know why I suddenly hide my notebooks when someone enters a room, or whatever it is I do. Well here it is. I hope you're happy. Now quit bugging me.

I'll be updating just as soon as I figure out what I can share. Hope you all enjoy.

Now, it is time for lunch.